| Crazy Blog Serial Challenge Episodes Nineteen - Twenty Four |
Nineteen) Amarinda: “No one is dying today,” Emmeline declared defiantly as she aimed her peeler at the virgin
assassin.
Rinalda’s hand shook uncontrollably and the peeler flew from her fingers and smashed into pieces against a rock. She
watched as Emmeline then aimed her peeler at the twins. “What’s going on?” She could see Rafe and Shade regaining
their strength under a beam of pure white healing light.
“Well virgin, a three-point-two peeler is good but you should have saved up your pennies and bought the four-point-six
series with the chromium auto reverse thrusters and laser light regenerative restorer. It beats your piece of crap peeler
hands down.
“You bitch! They’re not even on the market yet.” Rinalda cursed wildly as she stared at Emmeline’s peeler. “Is that a
jewel handle?”
“Yes it comes in diamonds or rubies for accessorizing – not that it’s going to do you any good, sunshine. These are only
available to the chosen few.” She looked at Rafe and Shade. They had recovered quickly. Just as well. Although they
were the weaker sex, any help was better than none. “Tie her up.” This was not over by a long shot. Emmeline knew she
had to take charge of this situation now. “You are right about one thing Shade, we need to find the Companion and stop
this madness. If the prophecy comes true no man will be safe.”
“Bugger!” Eleanor the Elder hissed. As she watched from behind the bushes. “I thought Rinalda had the twins under her
control there for a moment.”
“She is not up to the task of dealing with Emmeline. So few Guardians are. The pure of heart always make too many
mistakes.”
“Oh well, we’ll have to kill her like the last one. Summon the next virgin.”
Twenty) Anny: “Wait!” Rinalda pleaded. “I know where the Companion is hiding! I can take you to him!”
Rafe scowled at her suspiciously. “How do we know it’s not a trick?”
“We don’t,” Shade pointed out. “But we don’t have any information right now, so some is better than none. I say we find
out what she has.”
Emmeline shook her head at their naiveté. Clearly they still hadn’t learned their lesson. No one could be trusted. No one.
“Tie her up and make it snappy before the zucchinis awaken,” she commanded abruptly. “Then if she still wants to lead
us to the Companion, I’ll consider the possibilities. In the meantime, I’m sure there are more spies from the Quadro
watching us. We need to move on.”
With Rinalda securely bound, Rafe took her elbow and led the way into the wilds of the Turquoise Mountains. Rinalda
turned her head to look back at Shade. “How did you know I was a SLUT?”
“I saw you at the compound when I delivered the weekly allotment of Triple Chocolate Ice Cream. You were in the
training yard.” Shade whistled. “I’ll say this for the SLUTs. There were some good looking women training there.”
Rinalda gasped. “You peeked? You saw us naked?”
Emmeline snorted in disgust and pointed her peeler at Rinalda. “What do you think? Of course he peeked! He’s a man.
It’s what men do.”
Rinalda blushed in mortification. “But he saw my zhazhama! No man’s ever seen my zhazhama!”
“I have,” Shade countered smugly.
“Me, too,” Rafe admitted. “I delivered the weekly allotment of Double Mocha Lattes.”
“Dumber than stumps,” Emmeline muttered as she holstered her jeweled peeler. “All their brains are in their phallaxes.”
Twenty-one) Kelly: “No. What it means is that a Slut will show her zhazhama for the smallest offering of chocolate,”
snorted Shade. “You sluts are all alike.”
“That’s not true.” Rinalda pulled her bound hands to her chest, her face taking on a petulant expression only to drift into
one of vapid confusion seconds later. “Is that true, Emmeline?”
Rafe snagged the sacred chocolate from Emmeline and waved it under Rinalda’s pert nose.
“Oooo!” she squealed happily. Rinalda yanked her skirt up above her midriff.
“Evidently,” Emmeline muttered. She nudged Rafe and Shade irritated that they were both enraptured with the undulating
green quills which parted in frisky abandon over her zhazhama.
“Well,” Shade said with interest, “now I know why you carry around those dangerous peelers. I wouldn’t go near one of
those things without removing the barbs on it first.” He glanced at Emmeline’s clothed apex. “Do you have those too?”
She cheeks heated. “While I can’t tell you how much I love the direction of this conversation, I think we’d better focus on
the companionary species. Don’t you?”
Rinalda shivered, her gaze riveted on the chocolate Rafe dragged up and down his chest. “There’s something you
should know about the Quadro’s Companion. And I’ll tell you what it is if you give me a piece of sacred chocolate.” She
panted in soft longing.
Rafe broke off a piece and tossed it to her. Delicately, she slipped it in her zhazhama and sighed with pleasure.
“Mmmm. That’s soooooo gooood!”
“The secret, slut,” Emmeline commanded.
“Oh, right. The companionary species carries a—” Rinalda’s voice dropped to a whisper, “a shoe horn for protection.”
Twenty-two) Amarinda: Perfect. She had them exactly where she wanted them. She just had to fling up her skirt to
confuse the twins. Men – so predictable. As for Emmeline, that was disappointing. She expected women to be smarter.
But then, she wasn’t a virgin guardian.
“And do you know what else he does with the shoe horn?” The three of them stared at her with interest. Rinalda looked
around her quickly then leaned in close to whisper. “He puts his shoes on with it.” She smirked triumphantly at their
gobsmacked expressions. “You lot are so gullible! You think I give a rat’s arse that anyone sees my ‘Zhazhama.’ It’s not
even a real word for god sake. I made it up to see how dumb you were.”
“But…” Rafe looked at her in confusion.
“You’re wondering what happened to the chocolate? That’s just something you’ll have to wonder about.” She laughed at
his expression. “As for seeing me naked? Consider yourself privileged to do so.” She poked Rafe in the chest. “And a
Guardian virgin is never a slut. We adapt to survive.” Rinalda smiled at Rafe. “We make people think what they want to
get what we want.” She looked at Emmeline. “This pair aren’t very bright are they?”
“Nope.” Emmeline was pissed off she fallen for the shoe horn thing but she had to admire the virgin assassin. She was
a piece of work. “But I don’t keep them around because they’re smart.”
“Anyway enough of dealing with boys,” murmured Rinalda dismissively. “As my life is in as much danger as yours, I will
take you to the Companion but are you prepared for the abyss?”
“The abyss?” Emmeline felt a sudden shiver of fear run down her spine.
“Someone always dies at the abyss. However if we can find a bugle we'll be fine.”
Twenty Three) Anny: “Well, then, there’s no problem. I always carry a bugle in my backpack,” Emmeline said briskly. “I
even took lessons just in case I ever had occasion to need it. Anything else?”
“An umbrella might come in handy,” Rinalda conceded uneasily.
“Of course,” Emmeline concurred affably. She gestured for the little group to walk ahead of her down the trail. “One
should always carry an umbrella. You never know when it might rain—even in Australia.”
“You don’t have to sound so smug about it,” Rinalda grumbled. “How was I to know that you would be so well prepared?”
Rafe and Shade snorted in derision and Shade jeered, “Your elders sure don’t know Emmeline very well, do they? She
has all seven seasons of MacGyver memorized. Even if she lost her stupid peeler, she could probably whip up
something as a substitute. Her last name isn’t MacGyver for fun.”
“MacGyver?” Rinalda’s voice faltered as she felt herself growing faint with shock. “Not MacGyver. The elders said nothing
about MacGyver! No wonder we haven’t been able to defeat her.”
“Well, now you know,” Rafe pointed out loftily. “Why do you think we’re still with her? We would be dead by now if it wasn’t
for her. So, there!” He tugged on her arm and walked toward the abyss. “What’s next, Miss Virgin Assassin?”
Rinalda crumpled to her knees on the rocky trail in despair. “How am I supposed to know? You were all supposed to be
dead before we reached the abyss.”
Twenty four) Kelly: “They’ve revealed Emmeline’s identity to the Virgin,” The Companion reported. He tried to ignore the
derisive frown on the Elder’s face. But between the abject horror of the Middle witch and the confusion on the Young One,
the Elder was easiest to read.
“Have you no abilities to intercept them? You were hatched for the sole purpose to serve us yet you have failed us.” The
Elder held up a craggy finger. Sparks jumped from its tip.
“Wait! Mistress, please. I heard them speaking of the Abyss. All is not lost,” he whined.
“Good,” she cackled. “The Pit Keel’s call with confuse them with its lust inducing tones. If everything proceeds well, the
Virgin can squat on the bridge and drop the chocolate which will start the Keel’s mating call. No creature within a twenty
mile radius can resist the Claustrophobic Crunching Call of the Keel’s Kaleidoscopic Crooning.”
The Young One’s eyes glowed appreciatively. “I’d like to see that.”
“It is said that the Minister of Mary’s and the Daughter-in-law of the Great Green One did not survive.”
“What happened to them?” the Companion asked in awe.
assassin.
Rinalda’s hand shook uncontrollably and the peeler flew from her fingers and smashed into pieces against a rock. She
watched as Emmeline then aimed her peeler at the twins. “What’s going on?” She could see Rafe and Shade regaining
their strength under a beam of pure white healing light.
“Well virgin, a three-point-two peeler is good but you should have saved up your pennies and bought the four-point-six
series with the chromium auto reverse thrusters and laser light regenerative restorer. It beats your piece of crap peeler
hands down.
“You bitch! They’re not even on the market yet.” Rinalda cursed wildly as she stared at Emmeline’s peeler. “Is that a
jewel handle?”
“Yes it comes in diamonds or rubies for accessorizing – not that it’s going to do you any good, sunshine. These are only
available to the chosen few.” She looked at Rafe and Shade. They had recovered quickly. Just as well. Although they
were the weaker sex, any help was better than none. “Tie her up.” This was not over by a long shot. Emmeline knew she
had to take charge of this situation now. “You are right about one thing Shade, we need to find the Companion and stop
this madness. If the prophecy comes true no man will be safe.”
“Bugger!” Eleanor the Elder hissed. As she watched from behind the bushes. “I thought Rinalda had the twins under her
control there for a moment.”
“She is not up to the task of dealing with Emmeline. So few Guardians are. The pure of heart always make too many
mistakes.”
“Oh well, we’ll have to kill her like the last one. Summon the next virgin.”
Twenty) Anny: “Wait!” Rinalda pleaded. “I know where the Companion is hiding! I can take you to him!”
Rafe scowled at her suspiciously. “How do we know it’s not a trick?”
“We don’t,” Shade pointed out. “But we don’t have any information right now, so some is better than none. I say we find
out what she has.”
Emmeline shook her head at their naiveté. Clearly they still hadn’t learned their lesson. No one could be trusted. No one.
“Tie her up and make it snappy before the zucchinis awaken,” she commanded abruptly. “Then if she still wants to lead
us to the Companion, I’ll consider the possibilities. In the meantime, I’m sure there are more spies from the Quadro
watching us. We need to move on.”
With Rinalda securely bound, Rafe took her elbow and led the way into the wilds of the Turquoise Mountains. Rinalda
turned her head to look back at Shade. “How did you know I was a SLUT?”
“I saw you at the compound when I delivered the weekly allotment of Triple Chocolate Ice Cream. You were in the
training yard.” Shade whistled. “I’ll say this for the SLUTs. There were some good looking women training there.”
Rinalda gasped. “You peeked? You saw us naked?”
Emmeline snorted in disgust and pointed her peeler at Rinalda. “What do you think? Of course he peeked! He’s a man.
It’s what men do.”
Rinalda blushed in mortification. “But he saw my zhazhama! No man’s ever seen my zhazhama!”
“I have,” Shade countered smugly.
“Me, too,” Rafe admitted. “I delivered the weekly allotment of Double Mocha Lattes.”
“Dumber than stumps,” Emmeline muttered as she holstered her jeweled peeler. “All their brains are in their phallaxes.”
Twenty-one) Kelly: “No. What it means is that a Slut will show her zhazhama for the smallest offering of chocolate,”
snorted Shade. “You sluts are all alike.”
“That’s not true.” Rinalda pulled her bound hands to her chest, her face taking on a petulant expression only to drift into
one of vapid confusion seconds later. “Is that true, Emmeline?”
Rafe snagged the sacred chocolate from Emmeline and waved it under Rinalda’s pert nose.
“Oooo!” she squealed happily. Rinalda yanked her skirt up above her midriff.
“Evidently,” Emmeline muttered. She nudged Rafe and Shade irritated that they were both enraptured with the undulating
green quills which parted in frisky abandon over her zhazhama.
“Well,” Shade said with interest, “now I know why you carry around those dangerous peelers. I wouldn’t go near one of
those things without removing the barbs on it first.” He glanced at Emmeline’s clothed apex. “Do you have those too?”
She cheeks heated. “While I can’t tell you how much I love the direction of this conversation, I think we’d better focus on
the companionary species. Don’t you?”
Rinalda shivered, her gaze riveted on the chocolate Rafe dragged up and down his chest. “There’s something you
should know about the Quadro’s Companion. And I’ll tell you what it is if you give me a piece of sacred chocolate.” She
panted in soft longing.
Rafe broke off a piece and tossed it to her. Delicately, she slipped it in her zhazhama and sighed with pleasure.
“Mmmm. That’s soooooo gooood!”
“The secret, slut,” Emmeline commanded.
“Oh, right. The companionary species carries a—” Rinalda’s voice dropped to a whisper, “a shoe horn for protection.”
Twenty-two) Amarinda: Perfect. She had them exactly where she wanted them. She just had to fling up her skirt to
confuse the twins. Men – so predictable. As for Emmeline, that was disappointing. She expected women to be smarter.
But then, she wasn’t a virgin guardian.
“And do you know what else he does with the shoe horn?” The three of them stared at her with interest. Rinalda looked
around her quickly then leaned in close to whisper. “He puts his shoes on with it.” She smirked triumphantly at their
gobsmacked expressions. “You lot are so gullible! You think I give a rat’s arse that anyone sees my ‘Zhazhama.’ It’s not
even a real word for god sake. I made it up to see how dumb you were.”
“But…” Rafe looked at her in confusion.
“You’re wondering what happened to the chocolate? That’s just something you’ll have to wonder about.” She laughed at
his expression. “As for seeing me naked? Consider yourself privileged to do so.” She poked Rafe in the chest. “And a
Guardian virgin is never a slut. We adapt to survive.” Rinalda smiled at Rafe. “We make people think what they want to
get what we want.” She looked at Emmeline. “This pair aren’t very bright are they?”
“Nope.” Emmeline was pissed off she fallen for the shoe horn thing but she had to admire the virgin assassin. She was
a piece of work. “But I don’t keep them around because they’re smart.”
“Anyway enough of dealing with boys,” murmured Rinalda dismissively. “As my life is in as much danger as yours, I will
take you to the Companion but are you prepared for the abyss?”
“The abyss?” Emmeline felt a sudden shiver of fear run down her spine.
“Someone always dies at the abyss. However if we can find a bugle we'll be fine.”
Twenty Three) Anny: “Well, then, there’s no problem. I always carry a bugle in my backpack,” Emmeline said briskly. “I
even took lessons just in case I ever had occasion to need it. Anything else?”
“An umbrella might come in handy,” Rinalda conceded uneasily.
“Of course,” Emmeline concurred affably. She gestured for the little group to walk ahead of her down the trail. “One
should always carry an umbrella. You never know when it might rain—even in Australia.”
“You don’t have to sound so smug about it,” Rinalda grumbled. “How was I to know that you would be so well prepared?”
Rafe and Shade snorted in derision and Shade jeered, “Your elders sure don’t know Emmeline very well, do they? She
has all seven seasons of MacGyver memorized. Even if she lost her stupid peeler, she could probably whip up
something as a substitute. Her last name isn’t MacGyver for fun.”
“MacGyver?” Rinalda’s voice faltered as she felt herself growing faint with shock. “Not MacGyver. The elders said nothing
about MacGyver! No wonder we haven’t been able to defeat her.”
“Well, now you know,” Rafe pointed out loftily. “Why do you think we’re still with her? We would be dead by now if it wasn’t
for her. So, there!” He tugged on her arm and walked toward the abyss. “What’s next, Miss Virgin Assassin?”
Rinalda crumpled to her knees on the rocky trail in despair. “How am I supposed to know? You were all supposed to be
dead before we reached the abyss.”
Twenty four) Kelly: “They’ve revealed Emmeline’s identity to the Virgin,” The Companion reported. He tried to ignore the
derisive frown on the Elder’s face. But between the abject horror of the Middle witch and the confusion on the Young One,
the Elder was easiest to read.
“Have you no abilities to intercept them? You were hatched for the sole purpose to serve us yet you have failed us.” The
Elder held up a craggy finger. Sparks jumped from its tip.
“Wait! Mistress, please. I heard them speaking of the Abyss. All is not lost,” he whined.
“Good,” she cackled. “The Pit Keel’s call with confuse them with its lust inducing tones. If everything proceeds well, the
Virgin can squat on the bridge and drop the chocolate which will start the Keel’s mating call. No creature within a twenty
mile radius can resist the Claustrophobic Crunching Call of the Keel’s Kaleidoscopic Crooning.”
The Young One’s eyes glowed appreciatively. “I’d like to see that.”
“It is said that the Minister of Mary’s and the Daughter-in-law of the Great Green One did not survive.”
“What happened to them?” the Companion asked in awe.